the special ingredient is... death!

how far would you go for a cheap meal?

well, in my case, i suppose that answer would be 222 spadina ave, just south of dundas... last night, dave, brandon, and i went to eat at the dragon city centre food court (against my will, might i add). and yes, i am quite aware that this is the same food court that was closed down last year due to various health code violations, such as rats and other contagion. ames had enough sense to bail on us once she realised that dave's obsession with the ghetto food court would continue unabated, but i was foolhardy enough to remain with the guys. so despite my protests that we'd end up with salmonella, we ended up in the most ghetto food court that you'd have ever seen - seriously, half the kiosks were closed down, the lights were off (no doubt for energy efficiency), and there was only a smattering of people actually eating there. how i wish that i'd brought my camera so you could all see the sad, sorry sight. once we arrived (and, you know, stopped laughing), the guys were immediately drawn to this one stand that had these proud words emblazoned across a banner "pick any 4 items for $3.50" - from those words alone, they were sold. nevermind that everybody else in the food court was avoiding this one establishment, they stepped right up to the counter, and there was suddenly a flurry of activity behind it as the little chinese ladies served them their food ("you sir... what else you want?"). i was still hovering a step or two behind them and rather appalled that they were actually going through with it, when one of the ladies turns to me and says "ok, lady? how about you? noodles or rice?"

i was later told by dave that, despite my valiant efforts to smile and be polite, they thinly veiled the look of unadulterated fear on my face.

anyway, i tried to choose the safest items on the menu - in other words, i tried to stay away from the meats of unknown origin - and, i swear, the whole encounter for all three of us combined ( the ordering, paying and receipt of food) took less than 2 minutes total. so how was the food, you ask? the noodles were bland, the sweet and sour pork had bones in it, the fried chicken (oh chicken therapy, why did you forsake me?) was dry but ok, and there was a marked lack of grubs found in the broccoli, so at that point, it's already a step above the sodexho food at queen's. all in all, the food wasn't that bad, but i don't think i fully got rid of that grossed out look that was registered on my face until after the meal.

so, i didn't wake up this morning bleeding from my intestines or anything (which i suppose is a definite good sign), but i swear, last night? i was not feeling so good. i had a pain in my stomach and was just feeling a general malaise. nothing definitive, but i just didn't feel (or look) so good.

and i think i freaked out a couple of people with my crazed outbursts too. ooops.

Ghettolicious

I love dining out at famous establishments, but this sort of experience is often beyond the reach of my grad student budget. On these occasions, I ditch the 'famous' qualifier and settle for the much cheaper 'infamous' one. Such was the case today when I went to the infamous food court at Chinatown Centre on Spadina with Tiffy and Brandon. For those with a decent memory, this is the food court that was shut down by Toronto Public Health about a year ago for flagrant health code violations. According to inspectors, the place was overrun with cockroaches, mice, and other rodents--basically the typical menagerie that can be found at the back of a Chinese restaurant--and over 500lbs of food were destroyed for being unsanitary and hazardous to human health. The closing of the food court last June was unprecedented and made the issue of unsanitary eateries a hot topic for the ensuing months. I remember watching the Chinese TV news when I was still in Vancouver and hearing about this story. I've always wanted to see just how bad a food court has to be to get shut down, so I made a stand today and demanded that we go there for dinner before fellowship.

Before I describe our dining experience tonight, let me first give props to Tiffy and Brandon for their admirable bravery (or foolhardiness, depending on how you look at it). As for Ames, who chose to bail and get BBQ pork on rice elsewhere, the less said the better. You disappoint me, Ames.

The food court is the most ghetto looking eating establishment I've seen in North America. In an effort to save electricity, every other light was turned off, giving the place a 28 Days Later sort of feel; I was half expecting zombies to attack us as we made our way past the early-90s arcade consoles at the entrance. Even Brandon, who has seen his share of "ghetto", admitted that this food court was something else in terms of sheer ghettoness. But I was filled with unspeakable excitment because this was the place I had seen on TV and read about in newspapers, and now it was real to me! It gave me goosebumps to realize that the very ground I was walking on was once traversed by countless others who would go on to get food poisoning. This was history come alive for me. Some people go to Civil War monuments and imagine the battles that took place on now quiet fields; I go to previously shut down food courts and imagine the hurling that took place on now (moderatly) clean floors.

Brandon and I were immediately drawn to the $3.50-for-four-items shop, but Tiffy was less than enthusiastic. Come to think of it, the whole experience was torture for her--before and, unfortunately, after the meal. Still, I give Tiffy much credit for being a soldier and eating with us :)

I don't remember--or rather, I can't really identify--what meats I had, but that's just as well because I don't need to know if I was the first person who was not a Fear Factor participant to eat rat. To be honest, I don't think I'd ever go back there again. The food was really bland and my stomach isn't doing so well with the digestion process right now--and it's 2:00AM, more than seven hours since the meal.


Your Favorite Jerk